12/31

Apparently it's harder to shake this than I ever imagined it would be;
happy new year to the oldest feelings in the book.

davis

I need this to be good enough.

I need to be good enough.

little miss

"you are free to choose, but you are not free from the consequence of your choice"

the older I get, the more questions I think of, and the less answers I find. I'm doing it wrong but I'm doing my best, and I keep hoping that as long as I keep smiling it will be ok. I know what I need and I'm risking everything for it. I know you don't think I do, but I understand what is resting on my decision. I hope I'm right.

"I'll get tough"

higher

Dalai Lama's 18 Rules for Living:


1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.3. Follow the three Rs: 1. Respect for self 2. Respect for others 3. Responsibility for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

I always promised myself that I could find it inside --
I'll walk down the beach for miles until I can breathe again.

no title 12/14

"every saint has a past, every sinner has a future"

it's deep inside me -- please, let the nightmares fade away.

10 days

I can't wait to watch the sun set over the water -- I want to hug and never let go.

If only I understood the way the world worked...if I only I understood how I work. If only I could make people happy, if only no one was hurt. If only I wasn't so cheesy and unrealistic. If only I was that person I try so hard to be. If only.

10 days until a book and a cup of tea and my family all around me.

I'm a little disjointed -- but you bear with me. I'm scared to leave my friends.

"the heart has reasons that reason does not understand"