six - reasoning.

"You want to be really great? Then have the courage to fail big and stick around. Make them wonder why you're still smiling. That's true greatness to me."

> classes

I need to learn how to be my own best friend.

I need to learn how to relax myself.

I need to learn how to keep on smiling.

I need to learn how to do things right away, instead of putting them off.

I need to learn how to be patient.

I need to learn how to be fun.

I need to learn how to...

slowly...I am.

winter just wasn't my season.

competition that doesn't exist/it's driving me crazy.

consuming me, why do I care so much about this?

I write only for myself now, and I live for so few.

Now that I'm happy, I'm so close to being alone.

I'm my own 'group' so to speak, and I'm ok with that.

a thought

"I just thought, you know, every day is the last day of 'this day' at this school. Like, today is the LAST last day of first quarter. Or today is the LAST last day before winter break. Because then you leave..."

...and you can't go back.

I'm already there.

"Todo estaba como siempre, pero nada era igual."

I keep remembering one afternoon: we were walking and I was extremely flustered. I was jealous, upset, worried, lonely... And I started crying, but I didn't know why.

You made me smile.

I miss my friend.

be ok.

I just want to read. for days and days and days. I want to escape into another world, and then when I want to put my book down I want to sleep. I want to be able to collage for hours. I want to walk along the beach for miles and miles just feeling all the space above me and around me.

I want to be on your couch, and I want to feel safe and comfortable, listening to the guitar and knowing.

I want to go back to years ago, and I want to feel what it was like. I want to be able to stop questioning myself. I want to KNOW again. I want to be sure again, of who I am and where I am and where I'm going. I want to be that one watching the fireworks who can whisper "Happy one year. I love you." Instead of being the one standing next to them.

I want to be independent and I want to be myself, I want to have time to better myself, and I want to be free. I want to be standing on top of the hill at Stanford in the sun, looking out on everything and just seeing inside, my mind going a hundred miles an hour. I want to find my place and myself in this world, and I want to do it alone.

-mind vs. heart.

vantage points

"Life is Niagara, or nothing." - Mary Oliver, Blue Pastures