wildflower

It's taken so long. So many empty hearted texts, calls for help on so many disappointing nights after empty days. It's taken so many tears and shakey conversations where I couldn't even express what I needed from my listener, other than someone to listen. It's taken so many arguments, so many excuses and attempts to pin the sadness on something tangible, in hopes that it would go away.

Isn't it fitting that in the end, all it took was one question.

I'm taking control again. A body in motion stays in motion, and I'm finally rolling. For months I've been sitting around waiting for things to get better, and it killed me. I shut down, I stopped thinking, I stopped writing, and I stopped loving until nothing was beautiful anymore.

Somewhere along the way I forgot that it's all up to me. It's up to me to be doing what I want to do, to be having fun, to be happy. It's up to me to open my eyes and my heart to new options, or simply appreciating what's right in front of me.

"soakin' up the way of life I was raised in, runnin' barefoot bloomin' in a summer shower"