Is there a word for the feeling when you look back and you realize that things would have been so different if you were then who you are now? It's more complicated than regret - the heaviness and unfairness of regret is there, but it's balanced with joy that you came this far, and hope that things can only get better if you keep getting better. There's guilt, too - why didn't I figure this out before now? What pain could I have saved? And peace. Peace because I feel like I'm finally making it better.
"Mr Shaver had, in fact, been aware of the upcoming nuptials. The only note he left behind was inside a blue envelope addressed to Ms. Ryan and her husband and placed on the dining room table.
It offered no insight into the end of the Shavers' time together, only a simple wish from a man who had come to know what must be cherished.
'May you both have many years of happiness,' it read. 'May life be good to you.'"
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