"In every relationship, there are request moments, which seem small (did you like my haircut? I rearranged the Tupperware drawer. This is your hair I cleaned out of the shower...) but are in face little moments of longing (do you desire me? do you appreciate me? do you care for me too?) They can be hard to see, or tiring to address, or even seem like nothing, but in the long run of love, leaning into rather than away from or not noticing, these request moments is essential. It's a brick by brick life of active attention: I hear you, I love you, I see you."
"Tell me, my love: Why did I have cancer three times? How did we have two children with autism? Why has nothing turned out as planned? Then again: How are your same 10 jokes still funny? Why does your morning coffee still taste the best? Why, after 22 years together, does my heart still flutter when you walk in the room? How did I get so lucky to have your love?"
"Here's the things about marriage. We commit to sticking together for richer or poorer, through sickness and health and during good times and bad, assuming that the tough times are the stress test. But what if it's the opposite? What if the hard times bring out our best and make us focus on what's important, while the danger zone is when we grow so complacent that we can afford to obsess over a neglected shirt for eight months?"
"Love is honoring another person as their own whole being and not projecting your need to fix/save/rescue onto them. [...] Love is knowing it isn't a fairy tale, a happy ending, or a romance novel."
"Write letters. Be honest in them. We write every time we are apart, and a few times a month when we are together. As an older ranger told me before my wedding, 'start every day saying I love you, then spend the rest of the day trying to prove it.'"
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment